


too good at goodbyes

by orphan_account



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017), Riverdale (TV 2017) RPF
Genre: Cheryl Blossom Deserves Better, F/F, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Sorry Not Sorry, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 19:47:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18817771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cheryl sacrifices her life so for Toni. Toni doesn't make it back in time to the farm with the serpents.It's about Toni's journal entry after losing Cheryl forever. It's a little dark please excuse me.





	too good at goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> It's a small journal entry from Toni's point of view. She may or may not have gone cuckoo.

_It's been 25 days since I last saw Cheryl. I am sitting on what used to be our bed. It feels much colder without her in it. I dreamt about our attempt to escape the farm once again last night. The same dream keeps on playing on a loop. Somedays I hardly sleep and when I do get some sleep, the same dream sequence repeats._

_I saw it again. Cheryl was running behind me as I took the lead to guide us out of the old sister's of quiet mercy building again. We found a window this time and I selfishly jumped out first thinking Cheryl would jump right after me. She shuts the window and sacrifices herself to protect me. She tells me to run away. To be free again. I ran as fast as I could. My naked feet crushed the autumn leaves beneath me. I stopped and looked back to see the guards tackling Cheryl. I continue to run back to our house. A house which Cheryl turned into a home. Our home. I wake up everytime covered in sweat and panting. I often wonder what would have happened if I had let Cheryl take the lead and jump out first or not left her side. Dying in her arms would be so much better than grieving now._

_Before I could bring back the serpents to rescue her, the organ harvesting had failed and my cheryl lay dead in a dark room on a dirty bed._

_I still remember the ringing noise in my ears when I held her body in my arms. I remember wailing like a child. She had never looked so pale and colourless before. I held her cold body and collapsed on the floor as my friends tried to drag me away from her body. All our promises to grow old together and to be together forever lay dead and cold in that room._

_I remember standing by as they lowered her into her grave. It was raining that day. Just like it did when Jason went missing. I hope cheryl finds Jason again. I hope he does a better job at protecting her because I never could._

_I wish Cheryl would forgive me for letting her down again. I wish she would forgive me for all those times I spent away with the poisons instead of her. I hope she forgives me for not running fast enough._

_It's funny how all my life I've been running away. From my uncle, from ghoulies, from adversities. But the one time my life depended on it. When Cheryl's life depended on it, I was not fast enough._

_I can hear her last words in my head all day, everyday_   
**_Toni, I love you. This is your only chance at freedom._ **

_I can still smell her on the pillows, on her clothes, on our towels. It was hard packing all our stuff. But I did it. This is my last journal entry from thistlehouse. Tomorrow morning I move out. I don't know where I'm going to go. Serpents offered to take me back. But I'm not certain if I'm ready to go back._

_I never believed in love. I never believed that I would find someone as beautiful as her. Someone so brave, full of love and sensational. I've lost my family again. Maybe I'm destined to live without one._

_It's been 25 days since i last saw Cheryl. The story of the enigma Cheryl Marjorie Blossom will continue to live inside of me till the day death brings us back together. I hope we meet soon, love._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't kill me.


End file.
